Family Guy Porn Story: The Spellbook – Chapter 32

Chapter
32: Big Trouble in Little Quahog

Late in
the night, a Chinese ship arrives at the Quahog dock. Some asian guys
come out of it and moored it to the dock. A guard then walks to them.

Excuse
me, guys said the guard. Do you have permission to moor here?
asked the guard.

Yes
said one of the asian guys, while looking for something in his
pocket. I youre your permissionJUST HERE! shouted the
asian man as he pulled outa sheet of paper with something written
on it.

Alright
said the guard, before checking the permission. I hope you have a
nice stay at Quahog, and sorry if I bothered you. Said the guard
as he walked away.

See?
said the other asian man. I told you that it was much better this
way. I already know that we simply could kill him, but we dont
want to draw any
attention

Well,
Master Cho Wang is going to be happy. We arrived at the city where
both the magic book and the chosen one is said the first guy.

Yes, we
better get ready for the action said the other man as they both
returned to the boat.

The next
morning, the Griffin and Kennedys were enjoying the Saturday morning
as usual watching TV.

Peter
said Lois. With such a nice day I think that we could go outside
for a walk instead of staying here watching TV

Lois,
do you know what are you saying? asked Peter. If we walk, I
cant be here watching TV

Its
not that the TV is going to flee if we go for a walk said Lois
bitterly.

Yes, it
is said Peter. I installed wheels on the TV and know it want to
flee every time I look away

Suddenly,
somebody knocked the door. Peter went to open, and there stood Zoe.

Konichiwa,
Mr Griffin! cheered Zoe, happily. Is Chris here?

Sure
said Peter. Chris, come here! Youre Spanish girlfriend is
here!

Zoe raised
an eyebrow, confused. In less than a minute, Chris was in the living
room.

Hello,
Chris said Zoe. Do you want to go for a walk with me?

Sure!
said Chris. I like to do things with you, Zoe. You remember my
name

Zoe
laughed at his comment.

Chris,
youre so funny said Zoe. Thats one of the reasons of why
I like you so much

Chris and
Zoe then left the Griffin house.

Theyre
a cute pair said Meg, as he saw her brother and Zoe walking away.

Indeed
said Lois. They remind of Peter and I when we were young said
Lois.

Why?
Because shes hot but attracted to a childish and obese boy for
unknown reasons? said Stewie dryly, before turning to Rosie. Ha!
Did you saw what I did there? I insulted both Lois and that asian
chick for his lack of taste when it comes to men! God, I should be on
Comedy Central

I
hope that this Zoe girl is the right one for him said Meg. Chris
doesnt get too many chances with girls, and he usually ends
screwing up everything

Thats
when they dont disappear without trace added Matt. I
remember that he told us that he used to hang out with a vet interim,
but disappeared for no reason, remember?

Yes,
just like Jeff Campbell said Meg. I wonder what happened with
him

Well,
weirder things happened after that said Brian. You should stop
worrying about that

Yup
said Peter. Sometimes is better not to worry, like that time I was
trapped with an angry lion

Flashback

Peter,
dressed as a lion tamer, holding a whip, is in a cage with a lion.

Alright,
we go next after the clowns said Peter. So I need you to look
really angry said Peter to the lion.

Do I
look angry? asked the lion.

No, not
too much said Peter, unimpressed.

How
about now? said the lion as he showed his teeth.

A bit
better, but not scary enough said Peter.

Hey,
cut me some slack, Im new here and I do what I can! said the
lion, annoyed.

Well,
you must learn then that sometimes all what I can isnt
enough said Peter to the lion.

End
Flashback

Meanwhile,
in Quahog Asiantown, inside a hidden underground lair, a female ninja
walks to a room. Inside said room were four men: one of them sat in
some sort of throne, and the other three kneeling before him. The
first man was an ancient Chinese guy, with a pale skin, crazed eyes,
wicked smile and typical Chinese moustache, dressed with a green robe
decorated with dragons, Chinese kanjis and many other Chinese stuff.
The three men bowed before him were wearing large blue and white
robes, some pieces of plate armour and very large Chinese coolie
hats.

Master,
Im back said the aforementioned ninja.

Do you
bring good news, Ying Wi? asked the master, which happens to be
Cho Wang himself.

Yes
said Wi. Our spies had tracked both the magic book and the chosen
one

Excellent
said Cho in a manner that resembled Mr. Burns. I guess that its
time for my plan to begin

Do you
want us to take care of this, master? asked one of the bowed men.

Youre
my most powerful warriors, but no. The chapter just started, so lets
begin with a bunch of standard ninjas. Said Cho, before dismissing
his apprentice. After all these years, Ill be back again
stronger than everHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Seriously,
why all the bad guys have to do that? asked one of the bowed men
to their fellows.

Do
what? replied another.

The
hysterical evil laugh said the first one. I mean, its so
clich

Indeed
said the third one. But theres nothing you can do about that.
Its one of the rules of the universe, like gravity

Cutaway

In
the XVII century, we see the famous scene of Isaac Newton resting
under an apple tree, when suddenly an apple
falls on his head.

Ouch!
complained Newton as he rubbed his head. Then he looked at the apple.
Hey, this apple fell from this treeand hit me in the head
rather hardthats because it was very highso that means that,
when a body falls, falls faster if theres placed higherso that
means that there must be a force that makes things to fall to the
groundsoif Im able to cultivate an apple tree so tall that
the apples are so high that when they fall, they will fall so fast
and hit so hard whatever is under them to the point that it could
kill a human beingor even it could crush a houseif I can do
thatit would allow me to RULE THE WORLD!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
laughed Newton evilly.

End
Cutaway

Meanwhile,
Chris and Zoe where in a caf having some milkshakes.

So, you
never met your dad? asked Chris.

No. One
day my mom found that he was pregnant with me. Then he said it to
dad. Then she asked him to marry. Then she never saw him again
said Zoe.

Thats
so sad said Chris.

But
Im not going to give up said Zoe, upbeat. Mom told me that
dad is a weirdo with black hair and a huge chin. With that, Ive
done some research and I think that Ive been able to track him
said Zoe, and she showed him a picture of Stan Smith.

Well, I
hope that you can meet him someday said Chris sincerely. Oh, hi
Mr. Quagmire!

Hi,
Chris, hi, hot asian chick who is with Chris for some weird reason!
said Quagmire.

Whos
that guy? asked Zoe.

Hes
Mr. Quagmire, our neighbour said Chris.

Seems
to be a nice guy said Zoe. But I felt a weird sensation when I
looked at him

Its
probably nothing said Chris. Do you want to go to the park? We
could feed the ducks of the pond

Sounds
funny said Zoe cheerful.

And
maybe we could get a bunch of ducks to stay in the same place, and
due to the closeness they will merge into a super giant duck! said
Chris, excited.

I
wonder if your funny bone comes from your family laughed Zoe.
Well, lets go

Chris
and Zoe left the caf and made their way to the park. However,
suddenly they found themselves walking down a dark alley, despite the
sun was shining and there were no clouds.

Chris,
where are we? asked Zoe. We should take other way to the park.
This place creeps me out

Yeah,
me too said Chris as they both abandoned the dark alley, and
returned to the sunny streets.

Maybe
something bad could happen to us if we go that way. Some streets are
dangerous said Zoe.

Yeah
said Chris.

Suddenly,
a bunch of ninjas appeared from nowhere, beat the crap out of Chris,
and kidnapped Zoe. It happened really quick. So quick that if this
was a live action or animated youll need to see it in slow motion.
Because, you know, ninjas are really fast. Well, Chris could only
watch in pain how those ninjas fled away with his beloved girlfriend.

CHRIS!!
screamed Zoe. HELP ME, PLEASE!!

Zoe!
screamed Chris, feeling totally powerless. Zoe, no! God, we
shouldnt leave the dark alley!

Oh,
no said one of the ninjas. There were a bunch of rapist hidden
there that would rape both you and your girlfriend

Hes
right said one of the rapists as he came out of the alley.

Well, I
guess that this was better then said Chris. Or it was? Crap, I
need to find a way to rescue Zoe, and theres only one person in
the world that can help me!

Minutes
later

and
thats why I need your help. Will you help me? asked Chris.

Boy,
its terrible what happened to your girlfriend, but why the hell
can I do for help? Im a freaking mechanic! said the guy, who
indeed, was a mechanic. The camera zooms out to show that Chris was
in an autoshop.

Then youre liar! You said on that TV
commercial that you can fix anything!
complained Chris, before walking out of the autoshop. What Im
going to do now? Well, I guess that maybe Meg and her magic book can
provide some help too said Chris as he made his way home.

However,
back on the Griffin house, things werent going to be as normal as
anybody would expect. Lets take a look. In the living room, Matt
and Rosie are watching wrestling.

Cutaway to TV

On
a rerun of Friday Night Smackdown, the Hidden Enigma (aka Jeff Hardy)
is in a singles match against the Ultimate
Opportunist (aka Edge aka Adam Copeland). Edge is lying on the floor
and Jeff on the top rope ready to perform his Swanton Bomb. However,
Edge dodges it in the last second, prompting Hardy to crash against
the floor. Hardy rises, but Edge delivers and Edge-o-matic, making
him to trip again. Edge then tries to suplex him, but Jeff stirs and
frees himself from his opponent, and delivers a Twist of Fate,
leaving Edge on the floor. Jeff then leaves the ringside and pulls a
steel chair stuffed under it, and began to beat the crap out of the
Canadian wrestler.

End
Chapter

Dad,
if using weapons in wrestling goes against the rules, why they keep
stuffing chairs, ladders and things like that under the ring?
asked Rosie. Its like they want the
wrestlers to use them on each other!

Thats
for make it more exciting said Matt. Its when your mother
spreads cream over her whops! Forget about that!

What?
asked Rosie, curious. What does mom uses cream on? I like cream!
Is she baking a pie?

I said
forget about it! shouted Matt. Anyway, go to wash your hand, we
will have lunch soon

Alright!
said Rosie as she teleported to the upper floor. However, in her way
to the bathroom, she heard some laughs coming from her parents
room. Rosie opened the door quietly, and she could hear the laughs
better. Rosie saw, astonished, how a bunch of ninjas where reading
Megs diary.

Dear
diary, this afternoon Matt and I discussed. He says that sometimes I
get to emotional when other girls approach him. Thats because I
feel that, if Matt leaves me, I wont find any other guy that can
love me, but maybe Im driving him away from me if I keep behaving
like this. What can I do? read one
of the ninjas, as the rest of them laughed their asses off.

My God,
Ive never laughed that much sincegod, I dont even remember
laughing this much! said another ninja, wiping tears from his
eyes.

Yeah,
me neither! said another one. This girl must be really
pathetic

Hey,
nobody calls my mom pathetic! shouted Rosie, a millisecond after
realizing of her mistake, because all the ninjas turned at her.

Catch
her! commanded one of the ninjas.

All the
ninjas jumped over Rosie, but she was quicker and teleported back to
the lower floor, screaming.

Rosie,
why are you yelling that loud? asked Meg as she walked to her.

Mom!
shouted Rosie as she jumped on her arms. Theres a bunch of
ninjas in your room, and were reading your diary! They wanted to kill
me!

What?
asked Meg, a bit confused, until she saw a ninja coming from
upstairs.

There
you are! said the ninja, as he threw them a bunch of shurikens.
However, Meg was fast enough to duck and dodge them. The ninja
however pulled out a katana and jumped over them. Fortunately for
them, Rosie this time didnt froze in panic and used her powers to
stop the ninja on mid air. Meg took advantage of the moment and the
ninjas confusion, and tackled him to the ground.

Whats
all this fuss? asked Lois as he, Peter, Matt and Brian walked in
the living room. What? Ninjas? Not again!

Grandpa,
dad, help mom, hurry! cried Rosie.

The ninja
was able to get rid of Meg and stand up again. Suddenly, more ninjas
came from upstairs.

Cho
Wang said that he dont want witnesses, so kill them all!
shouted the ninja who seemed to be the chief.

Not so
fast! Flare, come here! shouted Rosie.

Flare came
fast to his owners call, scaring the ninjas flying near them with
its body covered in flames, but it wasnt enough to scare them
completely. However, Peter, Lois and Matt took advantage of the
moment and charged against the ninjas, pinning them to the ground.

I have
the book! said another ninja from upstairs. Forget about those
guys, fall back!

The rest
of the ninjas freed themselves from the Griffins and ran away.

Damn!
They stole the spellbook! said Meg. Hell, how many times has
been stolen?

At
that moment, Chris burst through the front door.

Mom!
Dad! Meg! shouted Chris. They kidnapped her!

Chris,
calm down! said Lois. Who was kidnapped?

Zoe!
said Chris. We were attacked by a bunch of ninjas, and they
kidnapped her! And Im not making this up like the two headed
octopus who ate my homework!

Oh no,
this is terrible! said Peter. My son finally gets a girlfriend
who lasted with him for more than a week, and now shes kidnapped!

Meg,
where do you have the spellbook? asked Chris. I need it, its
an emergency!

Chris,
we were attacked by ninjas too said Meg.

They
stole the spellbook said Matt.

Hey, do
you think that Zoe being kidnapped by ninjas, and the spellbook
stolen by ninjas, may be related? asked Brian.

Excellent
deduction, dog said a voice from nowehere. Suddenly, the living
room was filled with clouds of smoke, and they revealed Duncan.

Duncan!
said everybody in unison.

What
are you doing here? asked Lois.

It
isnt obvious? Im here to help you to find Chris girlfriend
and the spellbook, and to tell whos behind those ninja attacks
explained Duncan.

Suddenly,
Stewie walked in, holding Rupert.

Hi, did
I miss something good? asked Stewie.

Minutes
later, the Griffins, Kennedys, and Duncan were in the kitchen where
Duncan was talking about their new enemy.

Some
days ago, a Chinese sorcerer named Cho Wang arrived at Quahog said
Duncan. Cho Wang was a dreadful sorcerer that terrorized China for
many centuries ago

And
what is he doing here in America? asked Peter.

Cho
Wang ultimate obsession was immortality, and he was able to create a
spell that would allow him to prolong his lifespan. However, that
spell required a human sacrifice. A woman, to be more precise.
explained Duncan. However, the spell didnt last forever, so he
needed to sacrifice women once per fifity or sixty years in order to
keep his immortality

So
thats why he kidnapped Zoe? To kill her? asked Chris,
horrified.

Wait
said Matt. Why did he took the trouble to kidnap precisely Zoe?
Why he didnt kidnap a woman from China or a closer place?

Because
the woman to be sacrificed cant be anybody said Duncan. In
order to start the spell, any woman is okay, but the next victims
must be related to said woman. When the spell is near its end, ho has
a vision of the next woman he must sacrifice.

And why
did he steal the spellbook too? asked Meg.

Because
the spell also needs a powerful nexus of magical energy, and the
spellbook is once said Duncan. Chos enemies destroyed most
of his magic artefacts and spellbooks before expelling him from
China, thinking that that way he wouldnt be able to extend his
lifespan. However, they didnt take into account that many powerful
magic items exists out of Asia.

But why
Zoe? asked Chris. Why not her mom, Tricia?

The
spell is more effective if the victim is young said Duncan. Well,
I guess that this is all you need to know. We need to stop Cho from
killing Zoe and retrieve the spellbook. Do you know where he may be
hiding?

Sorry,
but no said Meg. I could use a tracking spell to find Zoe, but
I need the book

Zoe is
going to die cried Chris.

Dont
said that! said Peter. Nobody screws my sons love
relationships but me! Alright, if I were an evil chinese sorcerer
with lust for immortality, where I could go?…I know, to buy an ice
cream!

Minutes
later, everybody walks out of an ice cream store, eating said ice
creams.

Alright,
we have ice creams, so now what? asked Stewie.

Well,
hes Chinese, so he must be hiding in a place where he feels
comfortable, like home, like he never left China at all deduced
Peter.

You
mean? asked Lois.

Yes!
Lets go to the Russian District! said Peter.

Dad, I
think that we should go to the Asiantown said Meg.

The
Asiantown? Why would he be hiding there? It sounds stupid! said
Peter.

Minutes
later, the Griffins, Kennedys and Duncan arrive at the Quahogs
Asiantown.

Alright,
here we are said Meg. Where can that chinese wizard be hiding?

This
place is really big said Matt, as he looked around, watching all
the asian people walking, buying and doing many other things. It
would take a lot of time to find him.

Rosie,
you have the same energy as the spellbook emit, can you track it?
asked Lois.

I
dont know. Let me try said Rosie as she sat in the lotus
position, closed her eyes and concentrated. After a moment or so, she
opened her eyes and said: Yes! I can see it his hideout!

Did you
have a vision? asked Lois.

A
vision? asked Rosie as she turned to her grandma and looked at her
as she was crazy. No, its just there said Rosie, pointing to
a nearby warehouse. There was a banner placed in front of said
warehouse that said Cho Wangs evil lair.

Wow,
this was easier than anybody would expect said Peter.

Alright,
we need a way to enter said Lois. Any ideas?

I could
teleport inside, but Im sure that Cho has a way to detect us if I
do that said Duncan.

Matt,
do you have any idea? asked Meg to her husband, who was too
distracted looking closely at the warehouses front. Matt!

Huh?

Are you
listening? said Meg, irritated. I asked you if you have an
idea!

Maybe
said Matt. Theres a grille. I guess that I can sneak in through
it and then open from the inside.

Good
idea! said Lois. Peter, help Matt to reach the grille.

Peter
stood behind the grille, and Matt jumped on his shoulders. Peter
helped him to reach the grille, and like he said, he sneaked through
it. Matt then crawled through a very narrow ventilation conduct,
until he spotted another grille. He was about to break it, but he
stopped when he saw a bunch of ninjas patrolling under his position.
When the ninjas were gone, he was able to get out of the conduct.
Once he was on the floor again, he hid behind a column. He was
unnoticed by a patrolling ninja who walked near him. Matt then
elbowed him hard in the back, knocking him unconscious. Then, he took
his clothes and dressed as a ninja, and stuffed the unconscious guy
in a box. This way Matt was able to reach to the main door, when,much
to his shock, all the Griffins were waiting for him.

It was
about time said Peter.

What
the hell? asked Matt. How did you enter?

The
door was opened and unguarded explained Rosie.

Thenall
the things Ive donecrawling over a dirty air conduct, risking
my life moving among those armed ninjaswas? asked Matt, as
his face began to turn red.

Yeah,
totally useless said Peter

Okay
said Matt nonchalantly. Well, lets find Chris girlfriend
before they kill her said Matt nonchalantly as he took off the
ninja outfit and tossed it away.

Wow
said Lois. Matt is really good at suppressing his rage

Thats
not healthy said Brian.

Oh,
dont worry, Matt has good ways to vent his rage explained
Meg.

Flashback

Matt and
Meg are alone watching TV.

Play
World of Warcraft! said the TV announcer. Because playing WoW
is much better than hanging out with your friends!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGH!!
shouted Matt as he pulled out a machine gun and vaporized the TV.

End
Flashback

(A/N:
No offense to anybody who actually likes or plays WoW. I guess that
everybody already know that I hate this game because, after its
release, all my friends who bought it werent seen again. Well, I
also wasted a year of my life playing this)

The
group then arrived at a storage room, full of
boxes, and many ninjas.

Damn
said Meg. We cant get past this room with so many ninjas
hanging around

Duncan,
do you know any spell to make us invisible? asked Brian.

I know
an even better way of getting rid of those ninjas said Duncan.
Michelle will take care of them

Whos
Michelle? A witch? A girlfriend of yours? asked Peter slyly.

Hell
no! said Duncan. Youll see it soon

Ill
call Flare for help said Rosie

Meanwhile,
in another part of Chos lair, Cho is studying the book, with an
unconscious Zoe lying on a bed. Suddenly, a ninja burst in his room.
The ninja was gasping for air, and had a shocking look in his face.

.

My
Lord, we have a problem! said the ninja.

I hope
its important! said Cho.

It is!
replied the ninja. Jonnhy read on an internet forum that Uwe Boll
is going to do another movie based on a video game!

Crap!
said Cho. Dont worry, I will take care of him when Im done
with the immortality spell.

Oh, and
one more thing said the ninja. A giant snake is slaughtering
our troops!

A giant
snake? asked Cho. Well, that means that we have intruders.
Rain, Thunder, Wind, come here!

The three
men from earlier who wore Chinese coolie hats appeared before him in
a cloud of smoke.

Did you
call us, master? asked Rain.

Yes
said Cho. It seems that we have some intruders. Get rid of them in
a very painful yet spectacular way

Yes,
master! said the three elite warriors in unison before
disappearing again.

Ying
Wi! shouted Cho, and a female ninja walked in the room.

Yes, my
lord? asked Ying.

Time
has come said Cho. Im going to start the ritual right now,
but we have some intruders. I send my most reliable warriors to take
care of them, but in the odd case theyre defeated, I need you to
protect me

Dont
worry, master, I wont fail said Ying. However, this may not
be the best moment, butI must remind you that you still owe me three
weeks of vacation and

Yes,
yes! shouted Cho. Stop bugging me with that! Youll have your
vacation when were done with the ritual!

Ying Wi
then carried Zoes body and followed his master to another room.

Meanwhile,
back to the storage room, the huge cobra is wreaking havoc among the
ninjas, while the family were fighting against the rest of Chos
mooks as they could. Lois was kicking the butt of many of them, but
the rest werent that good in matial arts. However, Rosies magic
powers and Flare were also a great help.

Good
job, Michelle said Duncan as he petted his oversized mascot.

You
too, Flare said Rosie.

Alright,
we need to find Zoe, and fast! urged Chris.

We will
take care of the remaining ninjas said Lois. Meg, Matt, go with
Chris and help him to find Zoe before its too late!

You
dont have to tell us twice! said Matt as he, Meg and Chris made
their way out of the storage room. However, Rain, Thunder and Wind
appeared in a cloud of smoke, blocking their way.

Do you
want to leave now that we just arrived? mocked Thunder at them.
Now, Wind, show this nuisances what happens when you mess with the
master!

Wind then
raised his hands and created a cyclone that sent Meg, Matt and Chris
flying.

Damn,
this arent normal ninjas! said Meg. These guys are
powerful!

Thanks,
captain obvious! said Peter.

Dont
worry, they wont have a chance against me! Michelle, get them!
said Duncan.

Michelle
hissed and charged towards the three ninjas, with her mouth opened,
showing her large fangs. The elite ninjas jumped in the nick of time,
and Michelle crashed against a stack of boxes. However, Michelle was
far from defeated, and raised again, pryecting an ominous shadow over
her opponents.

Leave
that things to me! said Thunder as he cast an array of lightning
bolts at the cobra. Michelle hissed in pain. However, Thundersattack
was stopped when Duncan cast a Dark Nova on him.

Stop
harming my pet! said Duncan. Its animal cruelty!

Well,
you attacked me,
thus it would be human cruelty, which is much worse! said Thunder.

Why it
has to be worse? asked rain. Its not that animals dont
have feelings! pointed out Rain.

Wait
animalshave
feelings? asked Peter in shock. I thought they were made of
plastic!

In
fact, its that kind of attitude which has made mankind to become
arrogant and abuse of the planet, mass cutting down entire forests,
polluting the air and water and driving some animal species to its
extinction said Brian.

But
that snake was trying to kill me! It was self defense! whined
Thunder.

This is
our chance! said Meg as she, her husband and her brother sneaked
away. Hiwever, they were seen by Wind.

Hey,
they are trying to escape while were here arguing about animal
cruelty! said Wind.

Ill
stop them! said Rain as he teleported in front of them. Now
youll feel my dreadful power!

Rain
raised his arms, creating ominous black clouds over them. A thunder
clapped, and the clouds began to pour heavy rain over them.

Thats
all? asked Matt. A little rain? Thats all you can do?

Uhhhshut
up! said Rain, offended. My rain is powerful!…it will make
youtotoit will make you to catch a cold! What do you have to
say about that!?

Well,
its still pretty lame said Chris.

Come
on, we have a girl to save and an evil Chinese sorcerer to stop!
said Matt as he and both Meg kicked Rain in the chest, sending him
several meters back. Nice kick complimented Matt.

Thanks
said Meg. Mom taught me. You kick really well too

Of
course. Shawn Michales taught me a couple of moves said Matt
proudly.

Who?
asked Meg

Nevermind.
You need to watch more wrestling. Come on Chris! said Matt while
they exited the storage room.

Wait,
now that it comes to my mind said Brian. If this guy is
chinese, why is he using ninjas? Ninjas are from Japan

Maybe,
but ninjas are cooler said Wind.

Well,
he could also hire kung fu monks, who are from china and theyre
cool too said Lois.

However,
ninjas are still cooler said Thunder. We have cool clothes,
weapons, and magic powers in some media

Well,
that Rain guy was a bit pathetic said Peter.

SHUT
UP! shouted Rain as he made his clouds to rain over Peter.
However, Peter, wet but unharmed, stood there staring at him.

Meanwhile,
Matt, Meg and Chris were running frenetically through the lair, until
they arrived at the ritual room. Said room was decorated with Chinese
banners with kanjis impossible to understand, Chinese lanterns,
Chinese dragons and Chinese stuff. Zoe was in an altar, unconscious,
while Cho was holding the spellbook, chanting a spell, and his
henchwoman ninja looking.

Zoe!
cried Chris.

Youre
too late, fat kid! said Co. The spell is almost complete!
Theres nothing you can do to prevent your girls fate!

Youre
wrong! said Chris in a defiant tone. And Im not fat, Im
big boned!

Soon
you wont have any bones! said Cho. Ying Wi, kill them!

Yes!
said Wi as he pulled out a katana.

No,
wait said Cho. Thats no good

What?

The one
liner said Cho. It didnt have any sense. Let me think a
better one

Alright
said Ying as she put her blade back in her scabbard.

Oh, I
know it! said Cho with Joy. Soon my dogs will feed with your
Bones! How about that?

It was
better, although you dont have any dog said Ying.

Alright,
Ill buy a dog and feed him with that kids bones so the pun has
sense. Well, I have to kill Uwe Boll before. God, thats why I want
to be immortal, there are so many things to dowell, enough
chitchat, Ying Wi, Kill them! commanded Cho.

Alright,
lets go said Ying, a bit unmotivated as he pulled out again her
blade. You know what? I quit!

WHAT!?
exclaimed Cho in shock.

You
hear me. I quit. I know that you arent going to give me the
vacation weeks you owe me, and besides, this kid, although fat and
bloated, has a spark in his eyes that will give him the determination
to defeat us and save his girl, so farewell! said Wi as she
disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Abandoned
by one of my best ninjas in the middle of a climatic momet said
Cho. This sucks more than that Revenge of the Sith version
rewritten by RPG players

Cutaway

Cut to the
ending of the duel between Anakin and Obi Wan.

It’s
over Anakin! yelled Obi Wan. I have
the high ground! And it gives me +15 strength, +11 agility and +6%
chance of critical hit!

You
underestimate the power of my epic gear Anakin sneered. I have
a total of 36% chances of critical hit and +200 bonus damage in melee
combat!

“Don’t
try it,” warned Obi Wan.

Anakin
jumps over Obi Wan, but his mentor sliced his arm and both of his
legs. He then picked up his lightsaber.

Obi
Wan looted [Anakins Lightsaber]

End
Cutaway

Anyway
said Cho. I guess that I have to get rid of your first before
completing the ritual.

Cho then
cast a green lighting at Matt, Meg and Chris, but they were able to
dodge it. Matt then rushed towards Cho, leaped and tried to dropkick
him, but Cho banished just before Matts feet touched him. Matt
then crashed against a wall.

Matt,
are you okay? asked Meg, worried, as he rushed to check him.

No, he
isnt, he just got his whole body flattened against a wall said
Cho. But dont worry, you will follow his very same fate!
said Cho before using his telekinesis to hurl Meg very hard against
the wall, knocking her unconscious.

Meg!
shouted Chris.

Alright,
fat kid, now its only you and me said Cho in a very menacing
way, smiling in a wicked way.

I won
let you to harm Zoe! said Chris, valiantly but fearful.

And
what are you going to do about it, lardo? asked Cho.

Uhmuhhhhlook!
There are two agents from the Department of Immigration just behind
your back!

What?
No, not again! said Cho as he turned back. Hey, you lied to
me!

However,
when Cho turned back at Chris, he was holding the spellbook, much to
his dismay. Chris then cast a spell, and his clothes changed: he was
wearing a cool looking samurai armour, with a katana hanging from
his belt.

Now,
get your ass ready to be kicked! menaced Chris as he pulled out
his katana.

Samurai
gear or not, you, like your petty girlfriend, will die! said Cho.

Cho cast
an array of green lightnings at Chris, but he used his sword to
deflect the, Star Wars style. Chris then charged towards him and
tried to slice him in half, but Cho dodged it, showing an agility
uncharacteristic from a guy who is older than 500. Cho then summoned
over Chgris head several long needles like those used in
acupuncture and threw them over him. Chris jumped back, avoiding most
of the needles. While Cho was recovering, he charged again and tried
to impale him, but Cho dodged it again. This time, Cho showed that he
wasnt only skilful in magic by beating Chris to death with many
kung fu moves. While protecting from said hits, Chris was able to
made a small cut on Chos arm.

You son
of a bitch! shouted Cho as he touched the cut.

My
mother may be a bitch butbutwell, I have nothing said Chris.
Anyway, now youre going to let Zoe go or else!

Or else
what? mocked Cho.

Or else
we will help him to deport you back to China! said Peter as he and
the rest of the family (plus Duncan) entered in the room.

What?
said Cho, shocked. You defeated my trio of elite ninjas? That
cant be possible!

Well,
technically, we didnt defeated them said Brian. We left them
discussing if this country should rely more on diplomacy or military
power when dealing with difficult countries like Iran or North Korea

Well,
except rain said Rosie. He thought that he could beat Flare
because water hurts him, but he show how wrong he was

Anyway,
you lost, Chinese scum! said Lois. Free my sons girlfriend!

Yeah,
you come here and tarnish the good name of the immigrants kidnapping
young girls like a paedophile said Peter. Because in America we
dont tolerate that behaviour! And this is not just America, but
the GOOD America!

(No
offense to Central or Latin Americans)

Well, I
guess that you won said Cho, resentful. But this wont end
here. Ill come back and youll regret of the day you dared to
oppose my power and

But his
speech was cut by Michelle, who, despite being a 10 meter(30 foot)
long snake, was able to stealthily crawl behind him, and ate him in
one go.

Oh my
god! said Brian in horror.

Well,
Michelle always loved Chinese food said Duncan, and everybody
burst in laughs.

Hours
later, everybody is at the Griffin house, where they told Zoe what
happened to her and the truth about the spellbook.

Thanks
everybody for saving me said Zoe. Specially you, Chris. Youre
the best boyfriend ever said Zoe, as she kissed him in his lis.

Thanks
for your help, Mr, Duncan said Lois.

It
was my job said Duncan. Well, gotta go, otherwise Crystal will
get worried. Farewell! said Duncan as he left the Griffin house.

We
should go to have dinner out to celebrate that we rescued Zoe said
Matt.

How
about a Chinese restaurant? asked Peter, and everybody glared at
him. Just kidding!

End
Chapter

Thanks
everybody who read and review, despite it takes me a lot of time to
upload a chapter. Thanks for all the support, it means a lot for me.